My head spins from the heady grape fresh on my tongue,
I think back to that night in the room that was more a cave than a club.
It was filled with voices louder than a hymn,
And the light darker than sin.
When I watched you glide through the crowd,
Like a silhouette in the dim.
Hours had passed without a more than a couple of glances,
I sat there in the corner barricading myself in the empty glasses.
The clock struck one before I nearly collapsed,
Much can’t be recalled, but I know the smoke felt better than the time elapsed.
The last I remember is the darkness of the room swallowing me whole,
While you walked away unmarked, escaping the black hole.
All my energy gone, from the hours wasted, I could do nothing but watch you depart.
It was not till sunrise I stumbled in bed, the events of the cave burned in my head,
And in my heart.
Those around me celebrated the news,
relieved that it was my feeling that you dismiss,
And plead that I forget that you exist.
“What is it that you love about him so?” they question in fixation,
The inquiry catches me off guard,
The four letter word,
the root of my exasperation.
Love is not what I feel for you, nor did I anticipate the love for me,
It is the admiration for a like-minded person that put me on that chase.
“So why exhaust yourself on a man that ignored you with such haste?”
Although, I must admit there were times the thought of romance I did crave,
It is the nightmare of rejection that makes me retreat back to that cave.
The destruction of what I thought of a blossoming friendship,
Was ruined by the misunderstanding of emotion.
And now I’m left with these words,
in hopes, they reach you across the ocean.
— Miss Mephistopheles
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